My wife, Lisa, and I recently returned from a 13-day trip to the Emerald Isle, where we toured both Ireland and Northern Ireland—hereafter simply referred to as “Ireland” (because bloggers love to generalize), unless otherwise differentiated. We traveled clockwise around the island with another couple from Iowa, making overnight stays in (A) Dublin, (B) Killarney, (C) Limerick, (D) Galway, (E) Westport, (F) Sligo, (G) Donegal, (H) Portstewart, and (I) Belfast. After flying into Dublin, we took a train to Killarney and another one to Limerick, mastering the art of hauling luggage around while trying to look like Canadian tourists.

From Limerick on, we had a private tour guide/driver who heroically navigated us to all of the other destinations with many excursions to various towns, cities, and points of interest along the way. Having a driver allowed us to focus on the important tasks of gawking at painted sheep out the windows and praying that we wouldn’t sideswipe the next passing vehicle on the narrow rural roads.

Given the extent of our Ireland travels, I now find myself uniquely qualified on all things Irish, and can confidently create my own list of things you should know about visiting the Emerald Isle whether the fair people of Ireland agree with this assessment or not.

Without further ado, here’s Part 1 of a wildly unscientific list of 30 things I picked up about Ireland while we rambled around the island. Part 1 is all about my highly skilled observations of the island itself.

#1 It’s Smaller than Iowa (but more populated)

Typically, you’ll see the size of Ireland compared to that of South Carolina. Having never lived in South Carolina and given my distaste for sweet tea, I find it more palatable to compare it to the size of Iowa (where I have lived and which also doesn’t like sweet tea). If you turn Ireland sideways, then it nearly fits within Iowa’s borders, with plenty of room for all of Iowa’s pigs to fit within the remaining space. Technically speaking, Iowa is about 1.7 times larger in terms of landmass, but Ireland has about 2.3 times more people. Unfortunately, I was not able to determine the pig-to-sheep ratio.

#2 It Really is Green

They don’t call it the Emerald Isle for nothing; from my observation, it’s basically fifty shades of green. We were in Ireland the last week of August and the first week of September, which, as it turns out, must be prime “getting rained on” season. While there, we experienced all three official types of Irish weather: just about to rain, raining, and just done raining. It’s wise to have an umbrella or raincoat with you at all times, even if you don’t think it could possibly rain. Naturally, all that year-round rain, combined with mild winters, creates a ridiculously green landscape that seems determined to swallow roads, sidewalks, and buildings. I’m guessing that hedge trimmers and weed whackers are very popular Christmas gifts in Ireland.

#3 Northern Ireland is North of, uh, Ireland

You know how they say that Americans are bad at geography. Well, much to my chagrin, I represent that remark. Staring at the map of Ireland before our trip, it seemed odd to me that they had to make such a big deal over labeling the northern bit of the island. Unbeknownst to me, it’s an entirely different country. It now seems blindingly obvious when I look at the map, but someone forgot to tell those in charge of the actual border between the countries. It’s called an “open border,” meaning there is no traditional border crossing, gate, stern customs officer, or even a cheery little road sign that says, “Welcome to Northern Ireland” (or “Welcome to Ireland” when coming from the north). At some point during our journey into Northern Ireland, our driver pointed out the only real clue, the road signs suddenly ditched the Irish translation and showed up in English only, and the speed limit signs switched over from those nonsensical kilometer things to miles per hour.

#4 Ireland has Lots of Flags but Only Two Forms of Currency

The biggest difference between Ireland and Northern Ireland is that the northern neighbor uses pounds sterling instead of euros as its currency. Rumor has it that it’s because Ireland (officially the Republic of Ireland) is part of the European Union, while Northern Ireland is part of the UK (officially the University of Kentucky). It seems, though, that not everyone in Northern Ireland appears to be on board with the whole UK thing, as many of them choose to fly the flag of Ireland, the Ulster Banner, the flag of Ulster, or Saint Patrick’s Saltire instead of the Union Jack. In fact, Northern Ireland has no official flag at all.

It’s all very confusing, but as I mentioned, for tourists the only thing you really need to pay attention to is the currency. While in Northern Ireland, I went to buy a pop at a convenience store and reached into my pocket for change. I pulled out various pieces and handed them to the cashier, who said, “Sorry, we don’t take that,” pointing to one of the coins. Not able to decipher them fast enough, I grabbed more coins and just held my hand out like a confused child and let her sort through the pile and pick out whatever counted as legal tender.

#5 There’s no ADA in Ireland

I first noticed this while making my way around London a few years ago. Apparently, an Americans with Disabilities Act equivalent never quite made it across the Atlantic. In the US, we more or less take it for granted that people with physical disabilities will be able to get into restaurants, bathrooms, and other public places; surely everyone else should be able to, right?

I keep hearing that European buildings are just “too old” to be adapted, but I’m not buying it when so many places seem to go out of their way to tuck the bathroom either up a narrow staircase or down in a dungeon-like basement. And the elevators/lifts that do exist? Let’s just say I’ve been in larger broom closets. I certainly wouldn’t want to maneuver around inside one with a wheelchair.

It really is sad, and I genuinely feel for the elderly and physically challenged people of Ireland who have to navigate in public every day. Business owners absolutely need to do better. My ever optimistic wife, however, points out that we did manage to get accessible hotel rooms for a couple of our stays, so there are bright spots. She also insists that the Irish overall are so kind that they probably pitch in when they see someone needs help.

#6 There are still some Troubles in Ireland

I don’t claim any authority to comment on Irish politics, especially given the current polarization in the United States, but after visiting both Derry/Londonderry and Belfast, I have come to feel that the legacy of the Troubles in Ireland remains very present. There are numerous reminders of the conflict that lasted from the 1960s into the 1990s, beyond the fact that a major city is known by two different names in an effort to avoid offending either community. The divisions are still clearly visible, though thankfully not in a violent way (at least not while we were there). I am thinking in particular of the many murals, signs, walls, and barriers that remain. Notably, gates along the wall in Belfast continue to be closed each night and reopened each morning, even though the wall can easily be driven around. We were told that although the broader city is now integrated, the neighborhoods on each side of the wall, as well as the local schools, remain largely segregated. Memorials are one thing; walls with gates that close every night are an entirely different matter.

#7 The Harp is a National Symbol

While wandering through the Long Room at Trinity College in Dublin, pretending to be very scholarly, our Iowa group stumbled upon a display of the original Brian Boru harp. Apparently, the harp is the national symbol of Ireland, which was news to me, because I would have bet good money (and possibly a round of drinks) on the shamrock. The harp shows up on passports and other critical national artifacts such as Guinness bottles, cans, and glasses. Before going to Ireland, I’d never really looked closely enough at the Guinness logo to realize it’s a harp. In the name of research, I then felt morally obligated to order a pint—or at least a glass—of Guinness with every meal, just to double-check.

To be continued…

Stay tuned for Part 2, where I reveal everything I learned about traveling the rails and roads of Ireland.