In Part 1 of the “Top 30 Things I Learned in Ireland” blog posts, I shared my top takeaways from the Emerald Isle—beyond the shocking discovery that Guinness is literally available everywhere. Now it’s time for round two, the top things I learned while touring around the island from a transportation standpoint, mostly while trying not to end up in a hedge or off a cliff.

#8 Traveling by Train is Fast and Convenient

We took the train from Dublin to Killarney and then again from Killarney to Limerick. The trains are fast (sometimes up to 90 mph) and convenient, but figuring out which one you’re supposed to be on can feel a bit like a high-speed game of “guess the platform.” Fortunately, Lisa and I were traveling with another couple who actually understood Ireland’s train system and made sure we didn’t accidentally end up back in Dublin when we were aiming for Limerick. Advanced reserved seating is absolutely the way to go, especially when your name displays over the seat like a little sign saying, “Relax, you’re in the right place.”

#9 No Ubers in Ireland, but the Taxi Drivers are Wonderfully Irish

Before we met up with our private guide/driver in Westport, we took a few taxis. Some of them display an Uber sign, but Ireland Ubers are essentially the same as a taxi in that they are all licensed taxi drivers and charge the same as traditional taxis. The majority of the drivers we had were wonderful and endlessly entertaining, telling stories and cracking jokes, all while staying on the road and avoiding pedestrians. They made great suggestions for places to eat and sights to see in an authentic Irish accent. On one occasion, our driver took a phone call from a fellow driver, and we got front-row seats to some rapid-fire Irish banter.

#10 Street Signs look somewhat Comical

The illustrations on street signs are mostly standard across Ireland, just like in the US, but the vibe is a little different. If the illustrations were fonts, the US would be using Helvetica, while Ireland is out here proudly rocking Comic Sans in some cases. They’re cute, but definitely not the kind of thing you expect to be giving you serious, life-or-death traffic instructions. My favorite is the school crossing sign showing what appears to be Hansel helping poor little Gretel cross the road.

And then there’s the whole “lost in translation” thing with road signs in the US versus Ireland when an illustration won’t do the trick. Here, my favorite was GIVE WAY instead of YIELD.

#11 Ireland Hearts Murals

The cities of Derry/Londonderry and Belfast were highly decorated with murals, everyone’s favorite form of graffiti. The subjects ranged from history and entertainment to politics—Ireland has them all. We loved the Derry Girls Netflix series, so of course our favorite was the mural of the characters found in Derry. The mural appears in another Netflix series called How to Get to Heaven from Belfast, by the same writer, which we also enjoyed.

#12 Ireland’s Sheep are Bountifully Colorful

I did not expect Ireland to be 70% sheep. Once you’re out of the city, they are everywhere! They can be found lounging in fields, loitering on narrow rural roads, and clearly ignoring traffic laws. For this reason, I simply had to include sheep under the travel category of the things I learned in Ireland. The ranchers paint them different colors so the proper owner can be identified, which makes the hillsides look like a woolly art project gone rogue. Half the countryside looks like it’s been decorated by an unsupervised toddler with a spray can, and the poor things all look like they got caught fleeing a bank heist when the dye pack in the loot bag suddenly exploded. Secretly, I suspect they are painted brightly to help prevent them from becoming roadkill. Hmm… I wonder if that would work for Iowa’s deer problem?

We attended a sheepdog demonstration and learned that the sheep are primarily raised for their meat, even though every tourist town has plenty of wool sweater shops. We were told that it costs more to shear the sheep than the farmer gets for the wool, which raises the obvious question of who, exactly, is profiting from the €120 scratchy sweater for sale in Killarney.

#13 The Roads are Exceptionally Narrow

Most of the major highways are similar to those in the US, though not quite as nice as the US interstates. However, once you get off the main roads, you’re in for a real treat. At first glance, they all appear to be single-lane, one-way roads, but surprisingly enough, the Irish somehow manage to squeeze by each other when faced with a car coming from the other direction—most of the time. I say most of the time because it’s definitely not all of the time. Some exceptionally narrow roads have itty-bitty wide places spaced irregularly apart that drivers have to time perfectly in order to pass one another. Sometimes both vehicles end up with wheels off the road.

On one occasion, we found ourselves in a polite little standoff with an oncoming car. Our driver edged as far left into the greenery beside the road as humanly (and mechanically) possible; there might have been just enough room for the other car to squeeze by, but instead, the other driver graciously opted for the safer plan, shifting into reverse and backing up until the road widened just enough for us to pass without trading paint. Keep in mind, this isn’t just a quirky handful of rural lanes that are ridiculously narrow from a U.S. driver’s perspective, it’s ALL of them.

To make driving more entertaining, add a generous helping of steep hills and blind curves so you’re constantly wondering what surprise might be waiting just out of sight. Still not thrilling enough? Toss in free-range sheep, who consider the road part of their personal kingdom and wander about accordingly. We were very grateful for our local guide, who handled all the driving while we focused on alternating between admiration and mild terror. I made the quick sketch shown below, comparing a typical Iowa rural road with one from Ireland as a guide (warning?) for those who may venture outside Ireland’s cities.

#14 Ireland has Official Scarlet Letters, Really!

Learner and novice drivers in Ireland are required by law to display red [L] and [N] markers, respectively, on their vehicles. These are more commonly referred to (and I’m not making this up) as “scarlet letters.” Drivers holding a learner permit must display a red [L], and once they pass their driving test, it can be changed to a red [N]. I’m not sure of the exact timing, but given how old Ireland is, perhaps this is where Nathaniel Hawthorne got the idea for his book.

#15 Jaunty cars are a Real Thing

We had several chances to take a jaunty car (aka jaunting car) ride during our time in Ireland. Now, you might be asking, what the heck is a jaunty car ride? Don’t feel bad; I didn’t know either. I’d always heard them called horse-and-buggy rides or horse-drawn carriage rides, like the one we took in Central Park during our visit to New York City. Forget all that; in Ireland, they’re called jaunty cars. Who knew?

Our best chance at getting a horse to cart us around was at the Gap of Dunloe, which is part of Killarney National Park. Instead of sitting in an uncomfortable cart behind a majestic, yet smelly animal for a bumpy ride through the gap, we chose instead to hoof it (pun intended) for the entire 7-mile walk. Whether that was the best choice to make remains uncertain, as we were quite exhausted once we reached the end of the gap. However, after seeing multiple jaunty cars pass by one another during our walk, it suddenly became clear to us why all the rural roads in Ireland are so narrow, since these were the common mode of public transport in Ireland during the 1800s, and “road widening“ apparently isn’t in the Irish vocabulary.

To be continued…

Stay tuned for Part 3, where I reveal everything I learned about spending the night in Ireland.